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Understand paranoid people better.
Just follow them around, or give them a call, say nothing and just listen to their reactions....
 
Happy new year to you all, may the kw be pouring into your homes this year.
Happy 2025.

With best regards Igor K
 
I thought i broke my ankle last night when i tripped over a kleenex box.
The doctor said it was only tissue damage
 
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Doctor, will i be alright?
Doctor: Lets see.... Mercury is in Uranus right now.
But doctor, i dont do astrology stuff.
Doctor: me neither, my thermometer just broke....
 
Jim and Bill are really into skiing and head into the mountains for the weekend but they get caught in blizzard conditions and pull into a farm. They ring the bell and the door is answered by a very attractive woman. They ask if they can stay the night because of the snow but she answers, "Sorry guys but I'm a widow and people will gossip if you stay here but you can stay in the barn until morning". They do that but about 9 months later Jim gets a letter from an attorney about that night. He calls Bill and asks, "That night we stayed in the widow's barn did you sneak into the house during the night?" Bill, somewhat embarrassed, admits that he did. Jim tells Bill about the attorney's letter and asks, "Did you give her my name instead of your own?" Bill replies, "Yes, I'm sorry, I did do that and if there is any problem I will take responsibility."

"It's not a problem, the attorney wrote that she died and left me everything." Jim answers
 
A woman went into her kitchen to find a burglar loaded down with a bunch of stuff he was stealing from her kitchen.
Not having any kind of weapon to scare him off, she raised her hand and said “Act 2:38” and proceeded to quote scripture.
The burglar froze in place and didn’t move.
The woman called 000 / 999 / 911, the police arrived and were amazed to find the burglar still frozen where he stood.
“What did you say to him that kept him from moving?” they asked.
She told them that she had simply said Acts 2:38 and quoted scripture.
The police chuckled and escorted the burglar out to the patrol car.
“Why did the woman’s quoting scripture scare you so much?” they asked.
“Scripture?” said the burglar, “I thought she said she had an axe and two 38’s!”
 
Tax his land, tax his wage,
Tax his bed in which he lays.
Tax his tractor, tax his mule,
Teach him taxes is the rule.

Tax his cow, tax his goat,
Tax his pants, tax his coat.
Tax his ties, tax his shirts,
Tax his work, tax his dirt.

Tax his chew, tax his smoke,
Teach him taxes are no joke.
Tax his car, tax his grass,
Tax the roads he must pass.

Tax his food, tax his drink,
Tax him if he tries to think.
Tax his sodas, tax his beers,
If he cries, tax his tears.

Tax his bills, tax his gas,
Tax his notes, tax his cash.
Tax him good and let him know
That after taxes, he has no dough.

If he hollers, tax him more,
Tax him until he’s good and sore.
Tax his coffin, tax his grave,
Tax the sod in which he lays.

Put these words upon his tomb,
"Taxes drove me to my doom!"
And when he’s gone, we won’t relax,
We’ll still be after the inheritance tax.
 
When they become due I don’t like them at all.
Taxes look large be they ever so small
Taxes are debts which I venture to say,
No man or no woman is happy to pay.
I grumble about them, as most of us do.
For it seems that with taxes I never am through.

But when I reflect on the city I love,
With its sewers below and its pavements above,
And its schools and its parks where children may play
I can see what I get for the money I pay.
And I say to myself: “Little joy would we know
If we kept all our money and spent it alone.”

I couldn’t build streets and I couldn’t fight fire
Policemen to guard us I never could hire.
A water department I couldn’t maintain.
Instead of a city we’d still have a plain
Then I look at the bill for the taxes they charge,
And I say to myself: “Well, that isn’t so large.”

I walk through a hospital thronged with the ill
And I find that it shrivels the size of my bill.
As in beauty and splendor my home city grows,
It is easy to see where my tax money goes
And I say to myself: “if we lived hit and miss
And gave up our taxes, we couldn’t do this.”
 
But (as an American) I don't get the 1st one. Is it that big a deal to use boiling water? and what are Hell Guards?
 
Boiling water is OK for black tea. Some other varieties are best brewed with slightly cooler water. Hell guards, not so sure. Mind you, all written by a Cloggie. :)
 
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