humor

Solution is simple, i won't tell yet.
But your answers LOL

Solution is really simple, i won't tell yet.
But your answers LOL :D :D :D






An elderly man in Louisiana had owned a large farm for several years.

He had a large pond in the back. It was properly shaped for swimming, so he fixed it up nice with picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some apple and peach trees.

One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't been there for a while, and look it over.

He grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back some fruit.

As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee.

As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond.

He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end.

One of the women shouted to him, 'we're not coming out until you leave!'

The old man frowned, 'I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked.'

Holding the bucket up he said,
'I'm here to feed the alligator...'
 
The riddle, think outside the box.
The answer:

Borrow one horse, give 9, 6 and 2, and give the remaining horse back.
Half of 18 is 9.
Third of 18 is 6
Ninth of 18 is 2
9 + 6 + 2 = 17
 
That's not thinking outside the box, it's more like thinking like a financier / banking.

Borrow 1, then use the loaned (debt) item to value your assets before dividing them up, giving debt instead of an asset, which then vanishes upon reception.

The real angle is make it so that you the one who loan the horse at then charge 1 horse for loading the horse out.....
 
tenor.gif




And a follow up ;)

 
I do not have the intention to insult!

But here is a story of the naked woman...

A fully naked British goes up in a taxi whose driver is a Chinese.
He looked at her from top to bottom and several times.

The worried woman asks:
Have you ever seen a naked woman?

The taxi driver replied:
I don't look at you because you are naked, im worried because i'm watching and watching and i don't see where you have the money to pay me.....

Moral of this story:
Focus on your business and not on distractions.

Happy cell hunting.
 
No a top notch joke, but humor related to real life.

Their three kids, all successful, agreed to a Sunday dinner in their honor.

"Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad," gushed son number one. "Sorry I'm running late. I had an emergency at the hospital with a patient, you know how it is, and I didn't have time to get you a gift."

"Not to worry," said the father. "Important thing is we're all together today."

Son number two arrived. "You and Mom look great, Dad. I just flew in from LA between depositions and I didn't have time to shop for you."

"It's nothing," said the father. "We're glad you were able to come."

Just then the daughter arrived. "Hello and happy anniversary! Sorry, but my boss is sending me out of town and I was really busy packing so I didn't have time to get you anything."

After they had finished dessert, the father said, "There's something your mother and I have wanted to tell all of you for a long time. You see, we were really poor, but we managed to send each of you to college. Through the years your mother and I knew we loved each other very much, but we just never found the time to get married."

The three children gasped and said, "WHAT? You mean we're bastards?"

"Yep", said the father, "Cheap ones too..."
 
Bubba said:
Korishan said:
tenor.gif




And a follow up ;)

Click to expand...
MAN why would you do that to someone. I thought we were freinds :D
Click to expand...

What does the Fox Say is one of my top 10 all time (lighter) favorites!! I just look at my daughter and mouth "What does the Fox say..." and she puts her fingers in her ears and runs to the other end of the house and she's the one that introduced me to the song!
One of my other top ten (and same reaction from my family)is this one:
:)
 
How about Baby Shark ...

I played the What does the fox say... and heard my son's ears bleeding in the other room.. No Dad shut it off ... :)
 
We play/sing baby/kiddo songs when they are young to calm them and help them sleep. Later on in life, we play/sing baby/kiddo songs to torture them for retribution! Pay back!!! :p
 
We play/sing baby/kiddo songs when they are young to calm them and help them sleep. Later on in life, we play/sing baby/kiddo songs to torture them for retribution! Pay back!!! Tongue

And that's why they hit puberty.

Btw: how do you call a mix between bull-terrier and a shitzu dog breed?
Bull-s..t
 
I felt sorry for the Hypnotist, i saw last night.
He hypnotized 7 guys, then dropped the mic on his foot and yelled:
----------f*** me-----
What happened next will haunt me for the rest of my life.
 
Probably posting in the wrong spot again lol..
I just like to say that Im very grateful for threads like secondlifestorage.. learning about all this stuff would be a lot harder without
 
Not meant to be woman unfriendly or insulting to the people of those countries, just a joke!


An Italian guy and a Greek arguing over who's ethnicity better:

Greek guy: We had the olympics
Italian guy: Yeah....but we had the colosseum.
Greek guy: Alright....but we built the parthenon.
Italian guy: That's great, we built the aqueducts.
Greek guy: oke oke....but we invented sex.
Italian guy: That's very nice, but we introduced it to woman.

-----awkward silence----
 
100kwh-hunter said:

a real genius, love it
Click to expand...

I just watched about 5 Episodes, that is so funny, loving the hair drier heat gun sketch, up-rated the fuse with a nickel and it only cost him 5 cents LOL.I
 
I like the car popcorn popper for the drive-in.
Funny thing is I actually saw a commercially made set of camping gear to make popcorn and cook on a car engine.
Though it was many years ago.
 
Bubba said:
I like the car popcorn popper for the drive-in.
Funny thing is I actually saw a commercially made set of camping gear to make popcorn and cook on a car engine.
Though it was many years ago.
Click to expand...

Many years ago I ran over a pheasant while driving, thought nothing of it for a few days, then started to notice the smell of cooked poultry during long journeys.
Eventually found the pheasant wedge up between the engine and exhaust manifold.
Wish I'd have found it sooner I rather like roast pheasant.I

PS. I never ate it, it's was pretty manky to look at, but did smell good.
 
@ chuckp
There are even complete cookbooks for long drive with the car.
Oke the most important thing to have is a v8, but that will do all your cooking.
I hope i can find the link again to some recipes and i will post it, the book is great.
Probably will "crosslink" with a other forum, i don't know if this is allowed?

If any of you find the episode from redgreens that they are trying to make a campfire with that ~S.A.S.~ survival guy, please send me the link, i can not find the video anymore, tears from laughing where in our eyes, our type of humor sorry.

Thanks
 
100kwh-hunter said:
There are even complete cookbooks for long drive with the car.
Oke the most important thing to have is a v8, but that will do all your cooking.
Click to expand...

Yeah I reckon that could be a bit of fun :p
 
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